5 weeks!

Our baby is five weeks old! At her doctor's appointment this week, she weighed in at 11 pounds, 4 ounces and measured 23 inches long. That's 97th percentile in both areas. What a big girl!

She is a great eater and a great sleeper and is just a sweet, sweet baby. She has started smiling at us and at herself in the mirror. We get so excited and cheer and clap every time she does it.
We celebrated her one-month birthday with (what else?) a cake!

Fun!

Now that Samantha isn't sleeping 20 hours a day, she has time for some fun! Enjoying her monkey mat! We tried this a few weeks ago, but she would just wail. Now, she'll look at all the toys hanging around her. She's not quite reaching out for the toys yet, but she touches them by accident, and then stares at them until they stop moving.Tummy time! It only lasted for a few minutes, but that's pretty good for only three weeks old!

Reading one of daddy's favorite authors, Mo Willems. We read with her everyday. Hopefully, she'll grow up loving to read.

3 weeks old! And some firsts

I can't believe my little baby girl is three weeks old! She seems to change from day to day. Everyone tells me to enjoy every beautiful moment, because they grow up so fast. That is so true.

Here are some of Samantha's firsts:

First Bath at home:

Okay, this is actually her second bath at home. But it was the first bath where I actually got a picture because she wasn't screaming through the whole ordeal. When do babies start enjoying their baths?

First trip to the farmer's market:

Before Samantha was born, we went to the farmer's market twice a week. We've managed to go once since she's been born. She slept through the whole thing in her red Moby Wrap.

First trip to the zoo:

We went to the zoo to celebrate her friend Ana's first birthday. She got to meet some of mommy and daddy's friends for the first time. She stayed awake long enough to poop in her diaper and have a feeding. Otherwise, she slept through the whole thing, this time in her brown Moby Wrap. She loves her Moby!

Growing!

Samantha had her two-week appointment with Dr. B yesterday. We were worried about her weight gain because she lost so much during the first 3 days of life. Well, Dr. B said she was kicking butt because she gained 13 ounces in 6 days! She's up to 8 pounds, 15 ounces. Not quite back up to her birth weight yet, but she's doing great! She also grew an inch.

She still mostly eats and sleeps all day, although she won't sleep very long unless someone's holding her. We're not into letting her cry herself to sleep. I know there's a whole method out there about letting babies cry it out and it probably works for some, but I just can't. I'd rather hold her. She'll usually nurse herself to sleep, then I'll hold her for about an hour, after that I put her down in the bassinet and she slowly wakes herself up. Then we'll play a little, change her diaper, and start all over again.

Sleep

Samantha hates her bassinet! Every time we try to put her down for a nap in her bassinet, she wakes up after about 15 minutes, but she'll sleep for a couple of hours if someone's holding her. The funny thing is, she'll sleep in her bassinet at night. Last night she slept from 11:30 until 5!

Welcome to the world, little one

Samantha Malia was born on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 8:05 pm. She entered the world at 9 pounds, 3 ounces, with a head full of jet black hair, a set of lungs that could wake the neighbors, and is perfect. We love her so much and can't imagine life without her.

My c-section went well. Much less scary than I thought it would be. I was in the OR for 39 minutes, beginning to end. Three hours later, I was able to move my legs again and was transferred into a post-partum room for four days.

The first few days were hard because I could barely get out of bed and make it to the bathroom without help. I was tethered to an IV, and it was a pain in the ass to get around, so I mostly stayed in bed and stood up next to my bed once in a while.

Breastfeeding was also difficult the first few days. Samantha had no idea what to do, and I had no idea what to do. She was chomping on my nipple, and I was letting her. She ended up with little food and I ended up with very sore nipples. She lost 1 pound and 3 ounces in the first 3 days. We had lactation specialists come in and help with every feeding, and finally got the hang of it by Thursday night. She is now a pro at breastfeeding and has a voracious appetite for the boob juice.

We came home on Friday. She has been so mellow. Mostly eating and sleeping and pooping! She only cries when she is hungry, sleepy, or has a dirty diaper. Otherwise she's in a good mood and enjoys looking around and exercising her arms and legs. She recently discovered her hands and has been trying to chew on them.

She enjoys walks in the Moby Wrap. We've gone on walks twice since we got home.

Today was her first doctor's appointment with her pediatrician, Dr. B. She grew half an inch and gained 2 ounces since coming home from the hospital! Everything else about her was perfect!

C-section it is!

Dr. S. did an ultrasound, measurements, cervix check, and pushed on the baby from the outside of my belly. He concluded that we have a possible 9-pounder and external version would have a less than 50 percent chance of being successful. Bigger babies are harder to turn. Bigger babies of first time moms are even harder because the uterus has never been stretched before. So we decided to go with the c-sec.

Date?

Monday, November 16, 2009! 10 days!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!

uh-oh!

Samantha is breech!

With only three weeks left to go, the chances of her turning on her own is "slim." So now we need to decide if we want to do an external version, where Dr. S. tries to turn her from the outside, or if we want to schedule a c-sec.

We are going back to see Dr. S. on Thursday to discuss this further. We're leaning towards an external version at this point, because I really want a vaginal delivery. But if we're not comfortable with the risks, we'll just go with the c-sec.

I just want Samantha to be born unstressed and healthy. I don't think we want to attempt a vaginal breech delivery, even though Dr. S. is experienced in this.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

32 weeks!

Samantha is hiccupping right now! Hee hee. Feeling her move around in utero is the most awesome unique thing I have ever experienced.
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. For the second time in a row, my blood pressure was normal! My uterus grew about a centimeter, heartbeat was heard...all in all, another great appointment. I can't believe that we will be meeting Samantha soon! Can't wait!

30 week appointment

Everything was great, even my blood pressure! Baby girl's heartrate was 157, fundal height was 33cm. It was a short and sweet appointment, in and out in about 5 minutes. I can't believe that we only have 10 weeks left. I am so ready to be a mom...but at the same time I feel like we're not ready at all. We still need to find a new place to live. I want to be out of our 1 bedroom apartment before Samantha gets here. We haven't bought anything for Samantha yet. Throughout this pregnancy, I've been cautiously optimistic, not wanting to buy anything just in case. But now with 10 weeks left, I think it's time to go shopping!!

Yay!

Had an ultrasound to check my placenta today...and the previa has resolved!!! Yay!

Test Results

I passed the GD test!

That's the good news...

Now the not-so-good news...

my hemoglobin count was really low...

And the not-so-bad news...

all I have to do is take one iron supplement a day, and the baby has not been affected by the low hemoglobin.

26 Weeks!

I can't believe I have less than 100 days to go! Double digits! Woohoo!

Saw Dr. S. today. Blood pressure was really high...144/110. Holy crap! Dr. S. is going to keep an eye on it and check the baby more often. He does not want me to go on medication, and I totally agree with him. It ONLY gets that high at his office. I swear I have "white coat hypertension."

I also had the Gestational Diabetes test today. We won't know the results until around Thursday...keep your fingers crossed. I've heard so many people talk about how disgusting the glucose drink is...but it wasn't bad! It tasted like a flat Sprite, and I was able to drink it in about 30 seconds.

Samantha's heartbeat sounded great...that was the highlight of the appointment today. I'll never get tired of hearing her heartbeat!

Another uneventful Dr.'s Appointment

Yay! Everything is going well. My blood pressure was a little high...134/82, but it's been holding steady at home so we're not too worried.

Fundal height was 25 cm. Last month it was 17cm, so my uterus grew 8 cm!

I gained 4 pounds. So up 2 pounds since the beginning of pregnancy. Not too bad.

I asked Dr. S. about the placenta previa - turns out I have posterior partial previa. Dr. S. was not worried about it at all. He said that since it was posterior, there is a great chance that it will move away from the cervix. He told me that I don't have to restrict my activities at all. Back to exercising and sex!

We've been thinking about names - we want a name that will honor my dad, Sam, who passed away when I was 19...so far, we have Samantha, and we're liking it! Any other suggestions?

Sugar and spice and everything nice

It's a girl!

Everything looked great at my ultrasound today! I am SO happy.

The tech did mention that my placenta was low, which puts me at risk for placenta previa...but because I'm only 20 weeks, chances are good that the placenta will migrate away from the cervix before delivery. Isn't it funny...paranoid me was worried about tons of stuff before the ultrasound, but placenta previa never even crossed my mind. Now I have something new to freak out about. Everything that I read online said that I should take it easy...no sex, strenuous housework or heavy lifting. Poor Ron!

18 weeks and a doctor's appointment

Wow, I can't believe it's already 18 weeks. I have my BIG u/s in 2 weeks! Eeeps! I'm so excited! I think little chicken is a boy...

Had an appointment with Dr. S. yesterday. His assistant, Cindy, took my blood pressure...the top number was 152...wait, what? That's really high. I've been monitoring my blood pressure at home with a little BP monitor that I bought at Target, and I've been averaging around 116. Sometimes, I would go up to 122 - 125, but NEVER passed 130. I told Cindy this and she retested my BP with another cuff. Top number was 112...whew!

I lost 2 pounds! That's okay, because I didn't start out as a skinny minnie, and I would love to keep my weight gain under 20 pounds.

Fundal height was 17 cm...I think it was supposed to be 18 cm because I was 18 weeks, but Dr. S said that 17 was perfect...I'll take his word for it.

Heartbeat was heard! Yay!

I asked him to check my cervix because I was paranoid about incompetent cervix. He understood completely...checked, and said that my cervix was beautiful. It is so nice to have a doctor who understands and will take time to ease my fears. Thank you, Dr. S!

We love you, chicken! See you in 2 weeks!!!

16 weeks today!

Nothing much is happening. I haven't popped yet, although my pants do feel a little tighter. I've made it to June! I've said before that we were going to wait until June to start telling people, but I'm still paranoid that something is going to happen to the baby.

4 weeks between doctor's visits are way too long. I need reassurance that everything will be okay! I've considered renting a doppler, but I've read research that says that overuse of the doppler is not good for the developing fetus. Two more weeks until I see Dr. S. again. Please, little chicken, grow!

I'm feeling these weird sensations in my cervix area, like pin pricks - still freaking out about incompetent cervix!!! But everything I've read online says that those sensations are normal - most likely the baby "dancing" on the cervix and hitting a nerve. Is my baby big enough to do that??

We love you, little chicken!

Freaking out

About incompetent cervix!

Okay, maybe I read too much about stuff that could happen. I've found out that incompetent cervix happens in 1 out of 100 pregnancies. Around the 13th week, the cervix slowly dilates - without symptoms until the water breaks - and the baby is born too soon to survive. One of the risk factors for an incompetent cervix is a D and C - which I did have last year. And incompetent cervix isn't diagnosed until after one or more second trimester losses.

Why am I freaking out over this? I'm definitely asking Dr. S. if he could measure my cervix - just to be sure - at my next appointment (June 23).

On a happier note, we have our BIG U/S on July 7. Can't wait!

Scary Moment

Dr. S. couldn't find the heartbeat yesterday. He tried for about 2 minutes, got a worried look on his face, then said, "Let's go to the ultrasound."

At first the ultrasound showed just an empty sac with no baby. But Dr. S. moved the wand around and finally, a baby came into view.

Me: Oh good, it's still there.

Dr. S.: Not only is it there, it's giant!

Me: Is the heart beating?

Baby jumps around the screen.

Dr. S.: With it moving around like that? I'll give you one guess.

Me: Huge sigh of relief

That was a scary moment. Silly chicken! Don't scare momma like that again, okay?

NT/1st trimester screening results came back normal/negative for everything, but my blood pressure was high and Dr. S. was NOT happy about that. If it doesn't come down, he's going to put me on medication for the rest of my pregnancy. Anything for a healthy chicken! We love you!

NT Scan Yesterday

My OB does not do NT scans, so I had to go to a different office for the scan. Jodi, the ultrasound tech was all business. No small talk, no smile, just, "lay down and pull your pants down to your hips." That's okay. I was so nervous I don't think I could have formed a coherent sentence anyway.

I was expecting a transvaginal ultrasound, so was surprised when she whipped out the belly ultrasound. Wow! I've never held on to a pregnancy long enough to see a baby with the belly wand!

First she found the heartbeat and we listened to it. It was a beautiful sound. "Heartbeat is 169, which is normal."

Then she measured the baby. "The baby is the right size for your due date."

Then she took lots of pictures of the baby's profile, arms, and legs.

Then she measured the nuchal fold. "The measurement is normal." So glad she said that.

We see Dr. S in 9 days, and he will go over the results with us in detail. Hoping that everything is okay.

We love you, little chicken!

The Most Amazing Thing Ever!

I saw the most incredible thing yesterday. I went to see Dr. S. for a check-up to see how Little Chicken is doing. I've been feeling very nervous because of Damn Spot and I just don't feel very pregnant. Well, Little Chicken is growing! It was measuring 11wod, a whole week ahead! And the most amazing thing ever...it was dancing! It was wriggling around so much that Dr. S. had a hard time getting a good picture! It had a huge head, round body, stubby arms and legs, and just the cutest thing I've ever seen. We love you, Little Chicken!

Damn Spot

Why?
Why did you show up and ruin a perfectly good weekend?
Is it because I had the audacity to walk through the baby aisles at Target yesterday?
You had to remind me not to be so optimistic? All of this can turn to shit in an instant, hope into despair, happiness into fear?
Believe me, I am well aware of that fact. So go away, damn spot. Go away and leave me alone!
**************
My Little Chicken: Please settle in and get comfy. We love you!

8 weeks today

I just ate 3 slices of pizza for breakfast. Morning is the only time I can eat and not feel yucky. I haven't puked yet, but my "morning sickness" kicks in around 3pm and I don't feel like eating anything for the rest of the day. I do crave strawberries, though. Good thing they're in season. I've gotten the sweetest strawberries lately from Whole Foods.

"Morning sickness" hasn't been that bad on me. There was only one day when I really thought I was going to hurl (but didn't). The rest of the days, it's just a lump in my throat and slight queasiness at any thought of food.

My next OB appointment is in two weeks. I can't wait to see how much Little Chicken has grown. Please grow, Little Chicken! We love you!

We're having a baby!

Had an OB appointment at 2:00 today.

Dr. S: So you're pregnant.

Me: I suppose.

Dr. S: What do you think? Any symptoms?

Me: Not really. Tender breasts, but not sore. And I think I had nausea yesterday, but I don't really know what morning sickness feels like...

Dr. S: So you're nervous.

Me: Yeah.

Dr. S: Let's find out, okay?

....inserts probe....

Dr. S: What did we see last time?

Me: Just a sac.

Dr. S: Well, this time...we have a...chicken!

Me: A chicken?

Dr. S: Do you want a chicken?

Me: As long as the heart is beating.

Dr. S: See that there? (points to heartbeat)

Me: Oh my god! That's beautiful

Here is the picture of the little chicken! Based on my LMP I'm 7w3d, but Little Chicken measured 8w0d. I'm so so so so happy and relieved right now, but I'm still a little cautious. I know that it's still early and anything can happen, but I also know that the risk of miscarriage goes down after a heartbeat is detected. We will not be telling anyone (except you guys) until June.

Please grow, little chicken! We love you!

No more high impact aerobics

Because of my history of miscarriage, my doctor advised that I should stick to low impact forms of exercise, like walking and swimming. Since yesterday was such a beautiful day here in California, Ron and I decided to go on a hike. This is what we saw:

Golden Gate Bridge from Land's End, San Francisco

Hiking will definitely be our exercise of choice from now on!

****************

One more day until my first u/s. I'm trying to stay positive that we'll see a heartbeat. Please let this baby be okay.

Oh my

I am SO constipated. I've already clogged the toilet twice this week. I haven't changed my diet or anything so I was wondering what was going on with my body. Turns out, the Prometrium may be to blame! Oh well, anything for a healthy baby, right? We bought some prune juice yesterday. Hope that helps!

6 weeks! Am I supposed to be feeling something?

I'm nervous. I know, I know, I should just RELAX...but after 2 miscarriages within six months of each other, relaxing is easier said than done. In all other parts of my life, I am not a stressful person. Work, school, marriage, it all rolls off me like water off a duck. However, with this pregnancy, I'm just a nervous wreck.

Besides the occassional breast tenderness - no pain, just tenderness - I don't have any symptoms. No nausea, no fatigue, no frequent urination. C'mon! Can I please get some symptoms?

I have my first ultrasound on 4/13. With my first pregnancy, the first ultrasound showed a fetal pole, but no heartbeat...had a D and C about 4 weeks later. With my second pregnancy, the first ultrasound showed nothing but a gestational sac...naturally miscarried about 2 weeks later. Please keep your fingers crossed that we see a healthy baby with a heartbeat this time!

How are these numbers?

LMP: 2/21/09

HCG on 3/21/09: 1,266 I never did an OPK, so I don't know what my O date is, but I'm guessing this is about 15 dpo.

Progesterone on 3/21/09: 27.4

I just got these numbers from my doctor's office today. To me, they sound pretty positive! I start my Prometrium suppositories tonight, and I'm still on 1 baby aspirin per day. Please please please let this baby grow and thrive.

That just shows you how much I know about my own body

I was positive that I was not pregnant this month. I was so sure that I contemplated not POASing...just wanted to let AF come and prove me right. But, being the addict that I am, I could not hold back and POAS'd on Thursday. And I was wrong. SO wrong. I got a BFP!!

I am estatic, of course, but nervous as hell. Based on my history, I do not have a hard time getting pregnant, but none have made it through the first trimester. I've been pregnant three times, but have never seen a baby on ultrasound, never heard a heartbeat. I don't have a diagnosis...only had a chromosomal analysis done on the second baby, and it was normal. Dr. S, my awesome OB, is optimistic - just bad eggs and bad luck. I called him yesterday. He sent me for bloodwork and started me on baby aspirin. After my bloodwork comes back, I may need to start Prometrium, depending on the results of the bloodwork. I would do anything - anything - if it means having a healthy baby in the end.

Tomorrow's the day

If AF doesn't show, I'm going to POAS. Well, maybe I'll wait until Saturday. I'm so sure that I'm not pregnant this month that I'm not even excited about POASing. I don't want to be hopeful and then disappointed AGAIN. Maybe I'll wait until Sunday. Maybe I'll wait until CD 35. I'm on CD 27 right now. Maybe AF will just come tomorrow.

One more week

One more week before I can POAS! I don't think this is going to be our month, though. Even with my wishful thinking, I haven't had many symptoms. My boobs are a little sore, but only because I'm pressing on them every few minutes, hoping that they are! With my last two pregnancies, I had a "feeling" and knew that I was pregnant before I got a positive test. I'm just not feeling it this month, so I won't be terribly disappointed if AF shows next week.

On another note, I have 3 midterms next week! I will be studying all weekend. When I made the decision to go back to school for a second bachelor's, then hopefully med school, I also made the decision to get all A's. I NEED to get all A's to be competitive for med school.

TWW

UGH. Ten days to go until I POAS or AF comes. Hey, non-TTC'ers...did ya understand that?? Why do I always feel like I have every symptom in the book during my TWW? Just wishful thinking, I guess.

Right now, I'm super tired. It probably has something to do with the fact that I stayed up until 2am working on my Stats homework last night. But it's also a symptom, right? RIGHT?

Woo Hoo!

Class was cancelled tonight because the professor is sick. Woo Hoo!! Free time! What did I do? I went to Costco to get some groceries because our fridge and cupboards are pathetically bare. The thing I hate about Costco is that I always end up spending way too much. I went in with a list -
salad
sliced apples
rotisserie chicken
Amy's burritos
Cuties clementines
Odwalla Superfood
bread

Came out with all of the above AND
Turkey Jerky
18 packs of gum
5 pounds of gummi bears.
Totally didn't need that, but glad I have it!

Time to try again!

AF came yesterday, 4 days early. It was a complete surprise to me; I wasn't expecting her until Wednesday. I had no cramps or any indications that she was on her way. I'm not upset about it. I had a feeling that we weren't pregnant this cycle.

I started classes at the end of January - going back to school to get my second bacc - then I'm applying to medical school (!). So I've been very busy with work full time and classes 3 nights a week. BUT I think I'm getting better with time management. I'm not spending as much time goofing off and doing nothing.

Which explains why I haven't blogged in about a month!

I was wrong

AF is here. I started spotting this morning. Although I'm a little sad we didn't get pregnant this cycle, I'm happy for several other reasons.

I didn't have to wait 12 weeks for a cycle like I did after my first miscarriage.
We now have a LMP to start the next cycle with.
I didn't have any cramps! Yay for easy cycles!

CD 30

I've used 3 HPT's already. And they were all negative. Yet, I have no sign of AF coming! ARGH! I hate waiting.

They're Here!!!

Yay! My 20 HPT's arrived today. I was planning to wait until Monday, but I might break one out and test today! I'm not expecting a positive, though. The only symptom I have right now is light cramps, and I suspect AF is not far behind.

I ordered 20

Yes, 20 HPT's from Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com. They should be arriving anyday now. I'm going to start testing next Monday and I'm going to continue until I get a positive or AF arrives. Who knows how long that will be. The last time I had a miscarriage, I waited 12 weeks for my first cycle. Hmmm...I probably should have ordered more tests.

What a beautiful Saturday!

It is 55 degrees here. That is positively gorgeous for the middle of January, even by California standards.

Have you ever had a vietnamese sandwich? Crunchy french roll, pickled carrots and daikon, homemade pate and mayonnaise, ham, and other seasonings. SO GOOD! If you've never had one, you should try one.

There's this little place in El Cerrito, a hole in the wall, really, that makes AMAZING vietnamese sandwiches. I've eaten them all of my life, but these are seriously the best I've ever had. Every time we come here, the place is PACKED, but the service is fast, so the wait is never long.

Today, Ron and I pciked up a couple of sandwiches and then drove to the Berkeley Marina for lunch in the sun. What a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday morning.

Now Ron is off to coach volleyball, and I'm off to the outlets to buy some shoes!

Just the two of us - for now

Our little family is just the two of us. We have been married for over a year and have been trying to add to our twosome for about a year now. It hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be. I thought when I was ready to have a baby, I'd have a baby. Never even questioned it. Well, here we are a year and two miscarriages later. Still, I have faith that I will be a mom someday. At least we are having fun getting there!